The Nosy Parent

Life is too short to give up on your dreams. We all have our slumps and the kids do too. But, faith, perseverence, and a strong support system can make you climb mountains. Recently, there have been several child suicides that have truly made me think "What pain are these children going through in order for them to take their life?" I have never been in this situation, but my heart goes out to the parents and family members.

So, what can we do? Of course, be a nosy parent. Some parents choose to be hands off as their children get older. I am just the opposite. I try to involve myself with everything that affects my children. I do lots of listening and less talking. After all children like to talk to each other. Let them talk...you'll find out everything you want to know.

When the children want to hang out they all come to Mrs. Donna's house. Sure, I am open to that. Then, I can see and hear what they are doing and who/what they are talking about? As the kids say "I want to be in the know". I don't mind having a bunch of kids at or around my house as long as they are respectful and well-behaved. You have to earn a childs trust they don't just give it to you. Here are some tips from the nosy parent:

• Talk to your child about their day at school...ask open ended questions


• Talk to your child's friends about school


• Communicate with the teacher...after all he/she is with your children during their most productive hours of the day (email, a note in the bag, conference).


• Get involved with your child's school...serve on a committee, the PTA, attend social functions


• Read what your child writes at school in their journal or at home through pictures. Words/pictures are a powerful thing.


• Talk with the siblings. Someone is bound to release information.


• Have a relationship with the parents...you never know when you will need to call on them.


• Show up to the school unexpectedly. Go to the class room, playground, lunch room, etc.


• Have lunch with your child (this will not go over well after 5th grade)


• Take immediate action when you see there is a problem.


• Follow-up with the administration to find out what steps were taken.


• If the administration doesn't resolve the problem then go to the next level (teacher, principal, school board, congressman.


• Do not let the problem fester. You may need to remove your child from that situation.


• Do whatever it takes to protect your child...make your presence known.

and by all means NEVER GIVE UP!

Let your child know they are destined for great things. Be proud of who you are and always strive for success.

I'd love to hear what you do to be a nosy parent. We parents have to stick together!

Let's Get Organized

Organization is a learned trait that parents have to instill in their children. It crosses all aspects of the childs life: school, social, sports, etc. For the younger kids that may mean cleaning their room, decluttering the toy box or bookcase, or writing their name and date at the of each school assignment.

By the time they are in 4th grade utilization of a planner is essential. This will help them manage their time and prepare for upcoming tests. You can find inexpensive calendars at Walmart, Target or the dollar store. You can even print them out for free on http://www.timeanddate.com/calendar/ We know that children will not flip through pages to see what is happening in the weeks ahead. So, I recommend monthly calendars because you are able to see all activities with one glimpse. Some schools even have monthly calendars in the agendas. Make it fun. They can have friends birthdays and special occasions. But, don't forget to include these key items: school closings, test days, sports games/practices, and other extracurricular activities. They will be amazed to see how busy each week has become.

Ok, so we are not getting older. As parents we don't always remember things like we should. There are too many activities occurring. So, if you do not have a monthly erasable whiteboard, it would be a good idea to purchase one. The whiteboard will have a master picture of your childs academic and social activities. Place it in an area of the home that is most commonly used. This way it can be seen by the entire family and reinforce the information your child should already have in their calendar. When the next month arrives have your child to help out by erasing the calendar and putting the new days/month on the calendar.

Parents, you will have to check their calendars just like you check their agendas. They may stop updating their calendar, but get them back on track. You can remind them to open up the planner and use it for it's purpose. I know, it does get a bit tiring. But, the day will come when your child will no longer need reminders. And, that is the day we all look forward to as parents.

Hurry up and wait

Children seem to be in a rush to finish a test..like they really have somewhere to go. Don't they have to wait for everyone to complete the test anyway. So, while they are waiting, why not go back over and check the work they have completed.

Unlike other subjects, in Math, one incorrect calculation on a problem will cause you to miss the entire problem. Sorry, there is no partial credit. So, attention to detail is an important trait that must be aquired and used in the subject of Math. If this is achieved in the early academic years, then it will not be so difficult when the child enters high school.

Yes, the goal that is to be achieved in math is speed and accuracy. If you can get ALL the answers correct and are swift about doing it, then sure why not be a speed demon. But, if the child is missing problems that he/she obviously should have gotten correct then you first should investigate why the problems were missed.

There are four main reasons to answer a problem incorrectly: don't know the meaning of a term used in the question, don't understand the diagrams used in the illustration, don't know how to solve the problem, or made a trivial mistake. If it is due to the latter then it's time to put into affect Operation Sloooooooooowdown. This is where you implement tactics that will cause the child not to want to rush anymore.

For the most part telling a child that they need to go back and check their work does not change the situation. Don't they still rush through the test? They hear you, but don't quite get it. So, I have found that showing them the error of their ways and telling them is much more successful. Once they see their mistakes over and over again, they can't deny that there is a problem. Kids do not like to be proven wrong.

Here are just a few suggestions. I'd be happy to hear what tactics you use.

1. Correct all missed problems on the test, hw, and class assignments. This means redoing problems and identifying where the mistake was made. Have them tell you where they went wrong. This type of troubleshooting is beneficial in that when the same type of question arises (and believe me...they will see it again) they will recognize how to obtain the answer.


2. For every answer they miss due to trivial mistakes take away 5 minutes (or whatever you see fit) rom the tv, computer, cell phone, etc. Stick to arrangement until you see improvement. Children need to know that you are serious and consistent.


3. Be firm and not their friend. That may mean temporarily taking away football, dance, computer, sleepovers, etc. to help them understand that their education is the number one priority.
4. Lastly, be encouraging and show enthusiam when your child exhibits improvement. Acknowledging their efforts and boosting their ego goes a long way. They need to hear positive reinforcement to know that you are happy with their improvement.

Raise the bar and set high expectations. You know your child can do the work...they have told you this and the teachers have told you this. But, their actions prove differently because of carelessness. Don't give up if you don't see positive results immediately. Each child will respond differently. Your child is depending on you to "punk out". Well, prove them wrong. The most important thing is to be consistent and reinforce the good that they are doing.